Broken, But Happy!❤️

Time does not heal all wounds. It takes a lot of hard work to be happy. For me it’s going to take a lot of hard work to heal the emotional wounds. People can remain scarred for a lifetime if they don’t do the work to heal emotional scars. It’s time. I’m ready.
I’ve been living in this happy fantasy land where Prince Charming came and swept me off my feet. There’s nothing wrong with that because I know I deserve to be happy, loved, and respected. I can’t stay in this fantasy world forever because it’s a safe place where healing is postponed. And by “fantasy” I don’t mean it’s not real. Believe me, it’s VERY real. But this fantasy world is a place where pain does not exist. This pain can no longer be ignored.
Reality is my 19 month old baby girl left this realm. Reality is I will never get to feel her physical touch again. I feel her energy, but it’s not the same. It brings me joy to feel her this way, and I’m thankful that I at least have this much. A part of me is gone. Taken from me. And it’s something I can never get back.
What I need to do now is come down from cloud 9 and feel the pain of being robbed of the most precious gift I ever received. In order to feel this pain, I will go back to the beginning. Bella was a challenge right from the start. I was not only robbed of my daughter but was robbed of the enjoyment of being a new mom.
I now feel that I have the strength to go back to those days. Relive them. Feel the frustrations again and remember what they have taught me. The main purpose will be to heal, but also to help others going through similar struggles. 
Now that happiness has found me, I finally have the strength to do this. “Love is the answer” and will help me heal. So here it goes….

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