A Different Perspective on Negativity

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I have been reading a lot of posts on social media about “cutting negativity out of your life” and I want to offer a different perspective on this. My experiences have taught me a lot about negativity and I hope my perspective can open your eyes.

Sometimes “negativity” is one persons’ perception of a situation. The universal law states that it is our thoughts about a situation that creates our experience. If our perception is “negative,” then our thoughts about the situation will create a negative space. This negativity lowers our frequency and makes it challenging to see things from a higher perspective. This makes it easy to twist other people’s words into coming from a negative place even when it is not how they were intended. This is especially true when someone else’s point of view doesn’t align with our own perspective. Miscommunication is often the culprit, along with the unwillingness to see things from someone else’s perspective.

Sometimes we journey through life with the belief that we are a victim of circumstance, but in reality, it is our choices that created the difficulties we are experiencing. It is important to own up to our mistakes and be open to the perspective of others as sometimes our clouded vision does not allow us to see things as they really are. Rather than ask “What did I do to deserve this?” ask “How can I make this situation better?” Self-pity is never productive and blaming others gives away control of your situation. Once we understand that everything we experience in this life was created by our self, we open ourselves to our own ability to create a better reality. It’s in our control and no one else’s!

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Other people’s concern may be viewed as negative, but concern from people who genuinely love us and care about our wellbeing will come from a place of love and shouldn’t be dismissed. When we make decisions that are harmful to ourselves or harm those we love, we need to be prepared for the consequences of our actions; not perceived threats, but actual natural consequences. Reframing from a negative perspective, playing the role of the victim, placing blame on others, and lying to ourselves and others are all negative reactions. This negativity will breed until is it manifests. Falsely accusing others of abuse, neglect, harassment, etc, and threatening others will only breed more negativity and karma will ensure that you get in return what you put out in the universe. The truth always reveals itself in time!

Before cutting someone out of your life, evaluate your own thoughts about the situation. Some people are better left out of our circle, sometimes for their benefit, not our own. Sometimes our actions are what caused the negative reaction. Just because we are unable to see something doesn’t mean it’s not there. The truth is that our actions can have very damaging consequences on others and we are not always able or willing to see where we went wrong.

It’s easy to cut negativity out of your life, but severing ties with others doesn’t fix what is within ourselves. Often, negativity shows up in our life as a mirror image showing us what we need to work on within. Be open and honest with yourself. Stand up for your beliefs but also be open to the perspective of others. Protect yourself from people who want to harm you, but don’t be so quick to dismiss others as sometimes those we feel are against us will be the first to support us when life falls apart.

I’m not saying negativity is healthy or should be tolerated. I’m saying that sometimes it is misperceived. Don’t let others abuse you or those you love, take advantage of you or drag your image through the mud. Stand up for what you believe in, but keep in mind that what we see isn’t always what is there. Have the power to step out of the box and learn from the negativity rather than simply cut it out. Allow it to serve its purpose. Those who cause you harm will always get back what they’ve put out in the universe; this is cosmic law. Be patient and let fate take care of it.Remember, we are all responsible for creating our own reality! If you don’t like the reality you’ve created, make better choices and create a new reality.

Much love ❤️

#StayStrong

 

Waiting on Grief at Christmas

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Christmas is over, the new year is here, and I’m still waiting for grief to make her appearance. I have learned to embrace grief because she reminds me how important Bella was to me. In her absence, the reminder of love is replaced with guilt. I don’t understand why grief has remained absent this holiday season.

I knew it would be a different kind of Christmas this year, quieter than usual. Our focus was on our little family as it was our first Christmas that we were all together. It was Aria’s first Christmas and it was also our first Christmas with my youngest step-son. It was a beautiful love-filled day and seeing the excitement on the kids faces along with witnessing the love they have for one another was magical.

Christmas Day was also the anniversary of our engagement. Last year, Tom changed the meaning of Christmas for me by asking me to marry him. Christmas is now a day we celebrate us, our love, and the beautiful life we are creating together.

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, I surprised myself by founding joy in the little things. I enjoyed buying gifts for the kids every time I went into a store and I actually enjoyed wrapping gifts this year, something I used to find great pleasure in but haven’t enjoyed at all since Bella left.

Maybe this is a sign of healing. I am no longer certain that I can predict my grief, and even with this guilt that I feel, it’s much easier to deal with than a broken heart.

In the midst of grief, it may seem as though you will never find joy again. Christmas is an especially difficult time for anyone grieving as it is a time we focus on our family and when someone important is missing, it’s impossible to let it go! It’s a sad time for many…

But I’m here to offer hope. The holidays don’t have to be difficult forever!

For me, it was about finding a different focus at Christmas. Yes, Bella is missing in the physical sense, but her presence remains strong. She was playing with her sisters toys often throughout the holidays and we were often awoken in the middle of the night with a song coming from the toys in the living room. One night, the toys were rotating and as one song would end, another toy would begin playing a different song. This went on for quite some time. These occurrences remind us that Bella is still here.

For loss-parents (or anyone grieving) some days will be about survival and the focus will be getting through one moment at a time. But not every day will always be difficult. Not every Christmas will be difficult either. I’m thankful I have found another focus at Christmas and I hope that anyone who had a difficult holiday season this year can find a new focus next year.

As for my guilt, I understand that my lack of sadness cannot diminish the love I feel for Bella. It also doesn’t take away from how much I miss her and wish she was here. By accepting my reality and choosing to live a life of happiness, I am making myself and my family a priority. I’m sure grief will visit soon enough, but rather than try to understand her absence, I choose to accept and embrace this joy I feel. I’m certain that Bella doesn’t want me to feel sadness. She reminds me that “love heals,” and I am so blessed to be surrounded by love.

A Stranger Can Help Mend a Shattered Heart

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After Bella passed, my brother-in-law asked me if I would like to have molds made of Bella’s hand and foot. It would be a small piece of her I could keep forever. I was in a fog and don’t remember the details, but I know the funeral home went above and beyond to meet my request and make the impressions. I will forever be grateful for this gift.

When the impressions were brought to me, I was staying with my parents and that’s where they remained for well over a year. I came across someone online who casted beautiful keepsakes (including hand/foot impressions) and I asked her if she could make something for me out of the impressions I had of Bella. She wasn’t sure what she could do but asked me to take photos of the impressions I had.

The molds of Bella’s hand and foot finally made it home! I recognized the black bag Bella’s urn came in, but when I looked inside, I assumed I was mistaken as my son’s drawings were inside. I put the bag on a chair in my kitchen and it somehow ended up on the floor. When I picked the bag up, I reached inside to see what else was inside. I knew the instant I felt clay that the bag was in fact from Bella’s urn. I realized the molds of her hand and foot were in there. I removed the first piece of clay; I was in disbelief as I looked at the broken piece of my daughter’s foot in my hand. Shock set in and grief shattered me all over again as I struggled to breathe. One of the last pieces I have of Bella was broken. I felt as though I was experiencing her death all over again. I wrote about the experience HERE.

Shortly after posting the story on my blog, my dentist contacted me and wanted to see the mold as she knew someone who may be able to help fix it. Months went by and I finally made the trip to meet with the man from the dental lab. He wasn’t able to help me, but told me about a local woman who does casting and purchases supplies from the lab. He also told me about a new chiropractor clinic down the street who casts feet for orthotics.

I felt as though I was on a wild goose chase for someone to help me. The man at the chiropractor/orthotic clinic didn’t know if he could help but offered to do research for me. I’m sure it was a little shocking to have a complete stranger stop by with her deceased child’s broken foot in a box desperately hoping for someone to fix it. I appreciate the kindness and respect shown to me but began feeling my situation was hopeless.

My next stop was to deliver a book to a dear friend. The visit was short but this woman’s energy always uplifts me. I told her about the impression of Bella’s foot and she immediately suggested I contact “Lynne.” I’m not sure how I knew who she meant but I instinctively knew she was right! “Lynne is the person the man at the lab told me about!” I immediately realized that “Lynne” was also the person I asked to make me a precious keepsake out of the molds in the first place. I never did get back to her.

I found Lynne’s business page, To Have & To Hold Belly Casting & More, on Facebook and immediately sent her a message. She got back to me within minutes and an hour later I was standing in her kitchen with Bella’s foot on her counter.

Love and compassion radiated from Lynne and I could tell she really wanted to help me; however, she didn’t have any experience fixing molds. I was asking her to step out of her comfort zone; Bella’s foot was irreplaceable and there was no room for error. We didn’t even know what type of clay the impression was made from. I felt Bella’s presence surround us and I felt complete trust in her. I left the molds with Lynne and knew she was capable of fixing this shattered mess. I trusted the process and put all my faith into the universe expecting a miracle!

Lynne kept me updated throughout the process. The first obstacle was determining the type of clay the impressions were made from. I contacted the director of the funeral home and asked her what type of clay she used; she wasn’t sure but said it was from Dollarama. I suddenly remembered a package of clay I had in my closet. I had an urge to buy it when I was at Dollarama one day. I have no idea why I bought it but figured I’d need it. (Thankfully, I always trust my intuition!) I snapped a photo of the package of clay and sent it to the funeral home director. She recognized the package. Unfortunately, this type of clay is very fragile and would eventually disintegrate over time.

Lynne consulted with many experts around the world and knew she would have to glue the pieces together, but finding a glue that would hold without damaging the clay wouldn’t be easy. The pieces needed to be strong enough to withstand the pressure to take an impression. Her first attempt failed and the glue didn’t hold, but the second type of glue held, but would it be strong enough?

I left the rest of to Lynne. She managed to make an impression of the glued mold, then made an impression of the impression. The process was long and stressful, but it was a success! I trusted that she would make something beautiful for me. She explained that the material she uses is as hard as stone and wouldn’t break.

After 3 months, I finally got to see the results! I picked up the gorgeous pieces and they were even more beautiful than I had imagined! Lynne created two shadowboxes, one with the imprint and one with the outprint. She even made a Christmas ornament for me so I would be able to touch Bella’s hand any time I want.

This incredible woman managed to give a piece of my daughter back to me. No one can bring Bella back, but she was able to bring her foot back, and that’s as good as it will get for me. This gift from a stranger, this random act of kindness, helped mend a few cracks in my grieving heart. A piece of Bella came home and is now on my wall for me to look at every single day, all thanks to one woman. She put countless hours into researching and even more hours completing the process. I know this was a complicated procedure, but I also know she had a little assistance from Bella.

Thank you, Lynne, from the bottom of my heart, for restoring something that is irreplaceable. Thank you for all your time and effort. You are a beautiful soul and I am so grateful for you and the work that you do!❤️

If you are in the Timmins area and know someone who experiences the loss of a child, please let them know about Lynne at To Have & To Hold Belly Casting & More and give them the option to have a precious keepsake created of their child. It’s a gift that is everlasting!

Growing Up Is A Blessing

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The “would have been” milestones have a way of bringing grief back to the forefront. These are the times I dread most. The days don’t stop passing no matter how much I want them to stand still. Time is the growing divider between the present moment and the last time I saw her face.

I have been dreading this week since the day she left me. I have a hard time imagining what life would be like if she were still here, but I am certain she would be excited to be starting school. Instead of watching her get on the school bus, I will be sitting on the sidelines looking at photos and reading posts about other parents seeing their children off to school for the first time.

It’s hard as a loss-parent to read about how sad some parents are about these milestones. It’s hard enough to see these days pass by without her, but when others take these moments for granted, it’s like adding salt to the wound. Don’t be sad it’s happening, be thankful!
I’m not here to tell you not to be sad that your baby is growing up; I’m here to remind you how blessed you are that you get to watch your baby grow up! I’m not going to tell you not to be anxious about your baby being away from you all day for the first time because it’s hard not to know what they are doing or if they’re okay. I will, however, reassure you that your child is okay and well cared for!
Starting school is a major milestone for a child but it’s often one we as parents dread because it means our babies aren’t babies anymore. I am going to remind you that your baby will ALWAYS be your baby, no matter what! Nothing can change that, just like Bella will always be my baby. But Bella will always BE a baby because she didn’t get to grow up. Growing up means your baby is learning and experiencing, and this also means you have the privilege of watching them learn and grow.

So please, be grateful! Be present! And don’t let your thoughts affect your child’s experience (because they can sense our anxiety). Be proud! Be open, because your child is about to blow you away with how quickly they can learn. And most of all, CELEBRATE! We celebrate when our baby says his first words or takes her first steps, so remember to celebrate this milestone too.

This is a big week for many kids. I’ll be thinking of all Bella’s friends this week. Best of luck to you all. I hope you make your mommies and daddies very proud.

Much love,

#StayStrong❤️

Happy 4th Birthday in Heaven

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It takes months to build pillars of strength to hold me up, but a moment is all it takes for it to crumble. I’m exhausted and continue to struggle to process this past week. It was Bella’s birthday on Monday. She would have been 4 years old.

For some reason, the day before always seems to be harder for me. I’m not sure if it’s the anticipation or if it’s my way of making the actual day a bit easier. I tend to underestimate how difficult anniversaries are. I expect it to get easier as time passes, but it doesn’t. The reality of child loss is that life gets in the way of your grief and you do begin to live again. But anniversaries bring grief back. Raw grief. With grief comes pain. The type of pain that makes you wish you weren’t alive. It grabs me by the throat and won’t let me breathe. Every. Single. Time.

I can’t imagine what life would be like if Bella were here. So much has changed since she left, many changes were a result of her leaving. The questions don’t stop flowing but there are no answers to these burning thoughts. It’s energy wasted, yet it seems uncontrollable on days like this.

On days like her birthday, I revert to living breath by breath and count down the minutes until the day is over. I’m at a place now that not every day is difficult. I have wonderful days filled with love and laughter. I think and speak about Bella every single day, but on ordinary days, these thoughts and words are not overpowered by pain. On days like her birthday or the anniversary of her passing, not a moment passes that I don’t think of her. I can’t NOT think of her. The day is spent remembering what is missing. On a day such as the anniversary of you child’s birth, how can you think of anything other than the pain of living without them. The thought is inconceivable to any parent…yet this is my reality.

I now understand that twice a year, on June 28th and November 14th, I am allowed to take these days off. I am giving myself permission to be absent from life and allowing myself to step into my grief. I will do whatever I need to do in order to get through these days, regardless of what that looks like (as long as I am not causing anyone else pain). I am learning that on these two days every year, nothing will help me escape the tragedy of losing my baby girl. On these days, I give myself permission to break, crumble, cry, and scream. I allow myself to be angry and sad. I give myself permission to express these feelings. On these days, I am giving myself the gift of the day to myself, to allow grief to run its course.

Every year for Bella’s birthday, I ask my friends and family to help spread love and kindness to honour Bella’s memory with Bella Angel Cards. This year, I raffled off a prize to encourage people to scatter kindness. At first I was disappointed by the lack of involvement, but the few people that participated REALLY understood the meaning. Making people smile feels wonderful and can become addicting. One person had 20 entries and there were 48 entries in total. The winner was drawn randomly although all the storied touched my heart. It was hearing about these random acts of kindness that helped me get through a very difficult day.

After a quiet supper, I invited my parents and Nonna to come over for cake. A birthday wouldn’t be a birthday without cake! Hudson spontaneously sang Happy Birthday to Bella as I brought the cake into the living room. It was beautiful and put a huge smile on my face. I am grateful he is growing up remembering his sister. It’s important that he never forget her. It’s important that we all remember Bella. This is how she lives on.❤️👼🏼

#HappyBirthdayinHeaven #Grief #RawGrief #BirthdayGrief #AnniversaryGrief #ChildLoss #StayStrong❤️

Rainbows From Heaven

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I have spent the last 2 days looking at photos of Bella’s first 4 months and finally started uploading them to online storage. It has taken me over two years just to be able to look at them. I experienced a lot of technical difficulties, which has been rather frustrating and I thought it may be a sign that it wasn’t the time to do this, but I persisted and finally succeeded. I also spent some time today working on my chapter for a special book (my next project, stay tuned for more details). While working on the chapter, I was reminded that Bella will always show her presence when I need it most. I had a feeling I would see a rainbow today. Photos can’t fully capture how incredibly beautiful this was. Thank you, Bella!👼🏼❤️

#StayStrong❤️

Beware of Bears!

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About three weeks ago, I was sitting in my living room while Aria slept on me. Tom came in with my mom and asked me if I had a visitor: someone big, black, and furry. I wondered whose dog got loose, but when Tom clarified that he meant a bear, I was in disbelief.
A cub, maybe 2 years old, found his way into my kitchen and took a package of hamburger buns. He left my home and ate his snack on the hill in my yard, where Tom and my mom found him. The door to my home was open and the buns that were on my table were missing. Sneaky bear!

I wasn’t afraid and didn’t feel threatened, but it would have been completely different had the bear decided to explore my home. I’m not sure what I would have done had he came into my living room where I was sitting with my 3 month old baby.

We have had a few visitors since then and this past Saturday we caught a bear in action. It was just after midnight. Tom and I were still up when we heard noise coming from outside, so we went to investigate. The biggest bear I have ever seen was trying to get into our porch! He knocked the window and screen out of our door and was standing with his head through the door. He managed to squeeze through a small opening and we ran to the kitchen to get a closer look at him. He was at least 400 lbs and took up most of the porch! He grabbed a bag of garbage and went out the door, made himself comfortable on my front lawn and ate his meal. He came back into the porch two more times, and by the third time, the door was demolished. The bear could have easily gotten into our house if he wanted to! We knocked on the window to try to scare him away but our presence didn’t phase him.

I have lived in Larder Lake my entire life. It’s a small town in Northern Ontario. We are surrounded by bush and wildlife, but bears have never been a problem before last year. These bears aren’t typical bears either; they don’t fear humans!

The bears roam freely looking for food, and while they don’t pose an immediate danger to humans (as black Bears aren’t carnivores), they can attack if they feel threatened. I am concerned for the safety of the residents of Larder Lake, especially our children. Bears are wild animals and are unpredictable. It’s only a matter of time before someone gets hurt, as as a grieving mother I know that tragedies do happen!

Parents aren’t allowing their children to go out alone and are keeping their pets indoors. We have been in our backyard while a bear has run through the yard. Bears have shown up at playgrounds while our children were playing! A bear has been sleeping behind a vacant house across the street from us. They aren’t just coming here to eat, they are sleeping here too!

When we see a bear, we are told to report it to BearWise (who offer suggestions on how to keep bears away, things we are already doing) and report it to the police. If there is an immediate threat, such as a bear in your home, we are to call 9-1-1. Since residents are not seeing any action resulting from these phone calls, people aren’t calling as often as they should or reporting every encounter which makes it seem much less of an issue than it really is. Phone calls to the Ministry of Natural Resources have been just as useful. I sent photos to CTV News on Monday and a reporter was at my house the next day. The MNR were in town setting a trap while the reporter was in town because they were aware CTV was doing a story about it! They should have been here long before that!

I don’t know what’s causing our bear problem but believe an increase in population to be the major issue. The Government is piloting a spring bear hunt project to see if this will help, but this will take years before we see a difference. Deforestation is likely causing the bears to move in closer, and although it isn’t common, people have been feeding bears. In fact, we attended a live animal presentation in our community earlier this month and the presenter stated that it isn’t a problem to feed bears (not exactly a responsible thing to say in a community where there is an abundance of bears). Authorities discourage people from feeding them as it can cause bears to come into town looking for food. It’s also teaching them not to fear us!

I almost hit a large bear on my way to town today as he ran across the highway in front of my car. I have seen many bears on the side of the road, but have never come so close to hitting one. Our community needs a solution before someone gets hurt. Shortly after the MNR set the trap, a cub was caught and relocated. The trap was set again but I’m not sure if any more bears were caught and relocated. Bears tend to find their way back, so we will wait and see what happens in the weeks to come.

Click HERE to watch the CTV News segment from Tuesday. I was also interviewed by Evan Solomon on News Talk Radio in Ottawa, but I don’t know how to access the interview. Please share your thoughts on the issue and send prayers to keep us safe until the situation is resolved.

It Comes… And It Goes… And The Circle Of Grief Continues

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All is calm. Happiness fills my heart and gratitude radiates from within. The first few months with our rainbow baby were a bit challenging, but not for the reasons I had anticipated. I expected it to be much more difficult emotionally and was concerned about my ability to bond with Aria. I am relived that my concerns were not validated.

Aria is much like her angel sister and was very fussy when she first entered this world. This was quickly followed by difficulties with sleep, which are ongoing. Bella had severe colic and I was unable to figure out what caused her to scream for 9+ hours every day for the first three and a half months. Her entire life, she was a very restless sleeper, didn’t like to nap, and the only place she would sleep was in my arms. I often feel as though I am reliving life with Bella all over again.

I vowed to enjoy every moment with Aria, even the not-so-pleasant times. It’s very difficult to enjoy the moments of screaming. The expectations I set resulted in too much pressure which left me disappointed in myself. I collapsed with guilt and battled through grief to discover these expectations were suffocating me. I was preventing my own happiness. I had to experience a severe wave of grief in order to understand my emotions, which took a lot of effort and energy. I am thankful that I have the ability to see things for what they are when I take a step back. I am also grateful for my amazing fiancée who remains at my side holding my hand at all times. He has been incredibly supportive and understands me even when I don’t understand myself.

I have accepted that I won’t enjoy every moment with Aria. I now see that you can be grateful for a moment even when you don’t enjoy it. This is where I am today. I am thankful for Aria and appreciate her, but I am not loving this sleep deprived state that has become my norm. I also didn’t enjoy trying to soothe a screaming baby for the majority of the day for the first few weeks of her life. And I accept with how I feel about it because it’s real!

Lessons from Bella continue to positively affect me. I am a better person because of her, and a better mother. I am much more calm and patient with Aria than I was with my other children, which is partly because I am more centred and grounded, but also because of the appreciation I have for Aria. She fills my broken heart with pure love and joy!
Life isn’t always about enjoyment. Sometimes it’s about survival. And that’s okay!
❤️

It’s been 2 years. 24 months. 104 weeks…

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It feels like a lifetime has passed since I’ve seen my baby girl. Yet, at the same time, it’s hard to believe that 2 years have passed. My life has changed so much since I last saw her. That mother who held her baby girl on the last day of her son’s first year of school would not recognize this grieving mother typing these words. We are the same body, same DNA, but most other things have changed.
The last 2 years has taught me some tough lessons. I already knew that nothing was more important than family. I now know just how much my family means to me, how much we mean to each other. We were there to hold each other up when the world collapsed at our feet. That love we feel for one another is pure and selfless. During the last 24 months, we have put each other ahead of ourselves. We take turns seeing the light and holding it in front of the others when their eyes are closed. We go so far as to breathe for each other when it’s too painful to live.

I wouldn’t still be alive today if it weren’t for my family. I know that even though we will each take our turn to transition to the spirit world, our bond will be everlasting. I understand that our time together during this life is limited. This thought makes me cry every time I think about it, but the tears are reminders to make the most of the time we have together as we can’t predict how long we have! Age is not a predictor… And surviving one tragedy doesn’t grant you immunity from another…

May our family continue to hold each other up in the decades to come. May we continue to love and respect one another and thrive on this unconditional love. May we be each others’ strength and remind one another when it matters most that we will always be here for each other. Things aren’t always perfect, but love always wins! May we #StayStrong❤️

Bella’s second Angelversary was spent with a few family members. We had a quiet lunch and held the space for one another. The family who could not be here in person were with us in spirit. I am grateful that when I need them most, I can always count on my family!

Grace is Everywhere!

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It wasn’t until after the sudden loss of my daughter, Bella, that I was able to see that grace surrounds me. It exists everywhere; you just have to look for it! To me, “grace” is a divine gift that touches your soul; these gifts come in many forms. The most obvious form grace has shown up in my life since Bella’s transition has been signs from heaven. These signs have been a comfort to me as I grieve. They have taught me that my daughter is still with me even if I can’t see or touch her. Bella has brought me many blessings including an incredible man who I look forward to marrying, an amazing trip to Maui, and a beautiful rainbow baby. I share the most incredible sign from Bella in the book 365 Moments of Grace.

The Ultrasound Miracle: Hello, Bella!

My daughter, Bella, was only 19 months old when she passed away unexpectedly. It wasn’t long after her transition to the spirit world that she began sending me signs that she was still with me. 

I began finding rocks in strange places, such as under furniture and inside of toys. Rainbows began appearing frequently, often in places with no explanation. Electronic devices would start up and Bella’s toys would turn on, sometimes when the batteries were dead. Her favourite doll was motion activated and would talk when no one was in the room. This was her way of letting me know she was still with me, and I continue to be comforted by her presence.

Last July, I discovered I was pregnant. I was very anxious about the pregnancy and fearful of how I would react to a new baby. I felt a strong need to know the baby’s gender to help me prepare emotionally. I felt Bella’s presence during our ultrasound and knew she was with us. When the ultrasound technician told us we were having a girl, tears of joy began to flow uncontrollably. 

Shortly after we left the hospital, a rainbow appeared in the sky – confirmation that Bella was with us.

I had posted a few ultrasound photos on Facebook, and a few weeks later, a friend told me to turn one of the photos sideways and look behind the baby’s head. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I looked and saw there was a face behind the baby. But what I saw was not just any face; it was Bella’s face! I layered a photo of Bella taken a month before she passed and placed it over the ultrasound. It was a match! Bella’s eyes, nose, and lips matched up perfectly. Even wisps of her hair are visible in the ultrasound photo!

I have experienced many miracles since my daughter’s transition, but I have never seen anything so incredible. I know Bella is with her baby sister, and that helps fill my broken heart with love.

❤️

365 Moments of Grace is a book of true-life stories of grace, miracles, and transformations from beautiful souls all around the world. This soulful collection contains one grace-filled story for each day of the year from over 250 authors, including Kristine Carlson, Arielle Ford, Christine Arylo…and me! 🙂 This book is sure to inspire, uplift, and remind you of just how magical our world is and how connected we truly are. It makes a great gift for friends, family, and other loved ones…including yourself! You can learn more about the book HERE. You can also read what my co-author, Karla Joy Huber wrote about the book HERE.

Plus, if you order now, you’ll receive lots of soulful bonus gifts – all created by the contributing authors – including guided meditations, ebooks, ecourses, and much more! Click HERE and enter your order number to get your free gifts (available until August 31).

Tomorrow will mark the second anniversary of Bella’s transition. Part of her message to me was that love heals and I am asking for help tomorrow to help spread LOVE in the form of Random Acts of Kindness in honour of Bella. The free gift I contributed to 365 Moments of Grace are Bella Angel Cards, which can be printed HERE.

Please consider printing and using these cards. I love hearing about how people are using their cards and hope to hear from you. Love heals, and together we can make the world a better place.

#StayStrong❤️
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