Mental Health

#BellLetsTalk #StopTheStigma

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Today is #BellLetsTalk Day. I’m joining Bell Let’s Talk and millions of others to raise awareness about mental health. The purpose is to discuss the growing need for support and to help identify the needs of many but in order to do so, people need to admit to it before they can receive the help they need.

In the past I have struggled with #depression, #anxiety, and #anorexia that almost took my life. Over a decade later I experienced the trauma of #childloss and have been coping through #grief after the sudden loss of my daughter. I have always been very open about my struggles and have never felt embarrassed by them. I am fortunate to be surrounded by loving supportive people who have always been there for me. I am living proof that #RecoveryIsPossible!

Having a mental illness does not make you weak and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just because the illness is not seen, it does not mean it is not real, it is just as real as any other illness that can be seen with the eye.

Let’s #StopTheStigma… Share your story of #mentalillness if you have one. Don’t be scared or ashamed. It may help someone. If everyone shared their personal stories today, I think we would be overwhelmed by the amount of people who struggle without anyone ever knowing it. Let’s empower each other ❤️

The Importance of Self-Care

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I came home from Maui with a plan and the excitement was seeping from my pores. I finally knew what I needed to do and I had a plan. I set goals and was doing well with achieving them. Then things changed. It wasn’t one thing, it was simply life. It got in the way of my plans.
My intentions were good and pure, but I needed myself more. I started feeling overwhelmed and tired. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me but my body was telling me I needed to slow down. So I did what I do best and listened to my body.
I’m in extreme self-care mode. All else comes next. I’m in the process of restructuring life to allow as much self-care as I need, which is more on some days than others. The key for me has been flexibility. Not every day is a guarantee so I do what I can when I can. I’m grateful for the productive days but I am learning to be just as grateful for the lazy ones. 
Our bodies are powerful and somehow know what we need when our brains fail to recognize it. I have never been so in tune with my body. I feel deep gratitude for this temple of life housing my soul and will treat it with nothing but the respect it deserves.
Every day is a new opportunity to achieve greatness. When I wake up well and energetic, I embrace the opportunity to create something special. 
I’m still working on the art of extreme self-care but so far it involves eating when I’m hungry, napping when I’m tired or meditating when I can’t sleep. It involves deep gratitude for each moment and focusing on being present. Im simply taking care of me and allowing myself to BE in this moment called NOW. 
How do you excise self-care? What are you doing to take care of yourself today?
Much Love XO

5 Rules to Follow When Tragedy Strikes

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Tragedies happen when it’s least expected and can be quite traumatic. People react in different ways, often as instinct rather than taking the time to be mindful about our reactions and how they may affect others, especially the people affected by the tragedy first hand. After losing a friend yesterday and experiencing another trauma, I felt the need to remind people of how their actions and reactions can deeply affect others following a tragedy.

 
1. HELP THE PERSON IN TROUBLE. It is everyone’s responsibility to help! This sounds simple but isn’t always easy to do. Take a deep breath and try to stay grounded. Call 9-1-1 immediately or help the person who placed the call. If they ask you do something, don’t hesitate as there is a reason they are giving instructions. Those seconds of hesitation could be very costly.

 
2. KEEP THE CROWD TO A MINIMUM. No one wants people to witness them when they are vulnerable. Crowds tend to gather because people are curious to know what happened. Be mindful of how the victim(s) may feel and put yourself in their shoes.

 
3. OFFER SUPPORT TO WITNESSES. When you see people in shock, offer to help rather than be an observer. If you are not helping, your presence in unnecessary and probably unwanted. Something as simple as providing tissue and a drink of water goes a long way. Offer to call a support person for them.

 
4. KEEP INFORMATION PRIVATE! Nothing upsets me more than reading inappropriate posts on Facebook that can be very upsetting to people who know the person affected, especially family. Be mindful when asking questions or posting names as it takes time to notify family. Details about an incident should NEVER be shared on social media sites (unless it’s family choosing to). Be respectful!!!!

 
5. CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY. Be mindful of what you say as stories get turned around very quickly. It’s sad when rumours get started. If you are uncertain of details, be truthful in what you know, and if you aren’t sure what happened, say so! Rumours cause even more pain. When Bella passed, the rumour around town was that it was Hudson, not Bella, and that he drowned in our pool. People turned that into me being a neglectful mother and not properly supervising my son. There was no pool or neglect involved and it was quite disgusting to hear. If you have nothing supportive to say, don’t say anything at all. Curiosity does not equal support so again, please be respectful!

 
To anyone affected by trauma, please seek professional assistance as required and speak to someone you trust about the incident as soon as possible. Be gentle with yourself. Self-care is very important.
I am sending so much love to everyone affected by tragedy and trauma.
#StayStrong❤️

Choose Love

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My parents always taught me to treat others as you want to be treated. I come from a very loving family and had an ideal childhood. I grew up surrounded by love. This was what I thought was the norm, how all families were. The harsh reality of adulthood is you begin to see the world for what it really is. I am thankful for my family and grateful for the values my parents instilled in me. 
Sadly, my ideal childhood is not as common as I once thought. It can be difficult to understand other people and their motives when they treat others with malice and cruelty. I don’t understand how anyone could think it’s acceptable to do that to others. It’s not even acceptable to do that to yourself. Do some people really hurt that much inside that they feel such a strong need to make others feel pain too? Is that what causes cruelty? 
I have always been an internalizer and directed negativity toward myself. I have suffered from anxiety and depression in the past and I almost died from anorexia when I was 19. I know what it feels like to hate myself, but by practicing self-love, the negativity evaporated. So what is different between someone who directs their hatred outward instead? 
Maybe there isn’t much difference at all. Maybe there is. I only know what I have experienced. It’s a normal human reaction to want to make others feel pain after they have caused you pain (as children will impulsively hit another child who hit them). But what about the innocent person who hasn’t done a thing? How do they become the target? 
Bella tells me “love heals all” and I really believe that’s true! She also tells me that this world will eventually know peace, and I believe she is right. But how can we ever get there when such hateful and angry people exist?
The answer is LOVE! But how can you send someone love when they hurt you over and over again? How do you put it all aside and remain focused on what is important? 
I believe in Karma. I believe that our experiences can shape our personalities and affect how we react to things. But every single person, no matter what happened to them in their past, has a CHOICE! You get to choose how you treat others. No one forces that on you.
The beauty of it is that you also get to choose how others treat you. You set the standard for that, no one else! But you can’t treat someone unfairly and expect not to get the same in return. If you act a certain way toward someone, how can you get mad when they do the same thing back?
Hurting others will not take away your pain! 
Choose love instead.


#ChooseLove #StayStrong❤️

SoulShift

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Everything in the Universe unfolds as it should when the time is right. There is no such thing as coincidence, but as your soul awakens you often see synchronicities. Things begin to happen that seem impossible, as though there is something greater causing these things to happen. People will come into your life at exactly the right time and will offer exactly what you need at that moment. Doors will begin to open, opportunities you could only have dreamed of, but it becomes real because you set the intention for these things to occur. As your eyes open wider, you gain a greater understanding of the Universe and divine order and you grasp the concept of manifestation. We are all creators of our own reality. Thoughts are creative , they are energy. Thought is a powerful force that will attract exactly what you want it to, whether that be intentional or not. Once we understand this we can begin to change our thoughts to adjust our reality to what we envision it to be. It then makes sense to clear out all the negative thoughts and ideas because no one would ever consciously choose to create negativity. This is part of the soul shift, the waking up. We fully understand that everything becomes a CHOICE! And the things you can’t control, you can always control your reaction to it. Be careful what you think because it will become your reality.
Much Love ❤️

Seeking Solitude

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Once a social butterfly, I am now a solitude seeker. The shift didn’t happen overnight. It was a slow progression, but I do know the process began just after Bella was born. Colic has that affect on a person. The constant crying was torture and she was literally in my arms close to 24 hours a day. If she fell asleep, she would wake the second I put her down. I learned fast that all my baby girl wanted was to be in my arms. She slept with me, in my arms, her entire life. I would have given just about anything for 5 minutes to myself. 
I began recognizing the importance of my time alone when I started coming back from my dark days. I don’t talk about this experience much but I went through a depression in my early days as a single mom. It wasn’t until I started setting time aside for myself that I was able to break through the darkness. It was about learning to love and respect myself and make myself a priority. You can’t take proper care of anyone unless you take care of yourself first!
I started with a nightly ritual of a “calming” bath with candles and essential oils. Some nights I was only able to enjoy a few minutes to myself before Bella would wake up and start screaming, but that was better than nothing. It didn’t take long for me to look forward to this “me” time and within a few weeks I began to notice changes. I was finally taking care of myself and it was paying off.
Sometimes we don’t understand the importance of something until we are without it. I have been feeling the effects of my busy schedule and haven’t had much time alone since I came home from Maui. This week has especially been challenging and my “cranky” side came out tonight so I decided I needed to make myself a priority. Sometimes, everything else can wait! I feel better for it already! 
The next time you are feeling overwhelmed, ask yourself when was the last time you had a moment to yourself to relax, unwind and recharge your batteries. Remember to make time for yourself. You will appreciate it and the people around you will thank you for it too. 😉

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Our reflections can vary from day to day as we see only what we choose to focus on. The roller coaster of grief changes my perception of my reflection sometimes by the hour. Some things I see include pain, scars, strength, and courage. I see a shattered image of a broken woman trying to put the pieces back together but can’t seem to find the perfect fit as the edges are now jagged. Sometimes when I find a piece and place it where it belongs, it falls off again and breaks into a million more pieces.
It’s frustrating because trying to put the puzzle back together is very exhausting. I feel like I’m crawling towards another breaking point struggling to take a breath. As I gasp for air I remind myself that I am human and we all lose our balance at times. It’s the stress of life, which for me is very complicated and it feels like I’m burning the candle at both ends. I’m emotionally exhausted, which is the worst kind of tired because no amount of sleep can help. I am consumed by unanswered questions not knowing if I will ever get answers but no matter how much time and energy it takes, this is something I need to peruse. The process is draining. 
Grief has many faces and shows herself differently in everyone. I have been criticized and accused of some unfathomable things but my reality is that I have way too much on my plate to deal with anyone’s negativity. All I ask for is respect. You have no right to judge me as you have not been through what I have. Your judgement says nothing about me but says a lot about you. Be kind. Always. 
May you find the ability to forgive those who have done you wrong. May you find peace and believe that Karma is in your corner, as she is on my side and will ensure that balance and order are restored in our lives. Karma is getting what you deserve. Do good and you shall receive good things in return. Sometimes you need to be very patient but I promise that good things always come to those who deserve it❤️ and for those that wrong you, sit back and wait for it because they will eventually cause their own demise.
Today marks a turning point in our lives. Today we celebrate Karma and enjoy the good things she had brought to us. Today we #StayStrong❤️

Finally Breaking

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It’s time to break open. Little by little I feel myself crumble and I celebrate every piece that breaks off. I can feel, and as painful as that is, it’s wonderful to be able to feel.
Recovery means so many things, but what’s important is what it means to me at this very moment. I need goals and I need a plan on how I am going to achieve these goals. I also need the proper supports in place to be able to achieve them. It’s time to create a plan.
Sometimes the truth hurts and it can be very upsetting to hear what you don’t want to hear, but sometimes we need to hear the truth from another source before we can open our eyes to it. My truth is avoidance. I am avoiding healing. It’s too painful to break open, yet this needs to happen in order for healing to take place. People often suppress pain and take on the belief that time will heal their wounds. I don’t believe this is true at all! I believe that in order to heal, emotions need to be felt, then let go. Healing isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a process, but that process must be experienced in order to make progress. When you suppress it, you are avoiding reality and ignoring the wounds. I believe that this results in much deeper scars.
Today I am making a promise to myself, and I’m going to track my progress here in order to ensure that I’m held accountable! My promise is to start doing the work and to stop avoiding the inevitable. Step one will be to set goals. Step 2 will be to create an action plan. I need to start preparing to go back to work and I’m avoiding this. The truth is I am not ready for this but if I don’t start doing the work, I’ll never be ready. It’s also possible that I will never be fully ready, and that’s okay too, but life has to continue. 
Yesterday was a groundbreaking day for me. I realized that it’s time to do the work. There is never a convenient time to fall apart, so today I’m going to take the box off the shelf, the one that holds all my pain, and I’m going to open it. Today I choose to feel pain. Let the healing begin! #StayStrong❤️
“Have the courage to shine your light into the darkest and deepest wounds of your soul. You are worthy of healing.” – Kate Spencer