The last few weeks of pregnancy are always the longest. This can also be the most special time as you prepare for the birth of your baby. It’s an opportunity to pamper yourself and do all you can to keep comfortable. It’s also a time to bond with baby and I have been enjoying watching her move and react to my touch. It’s been incredible!
But waiting isn’t easy. I’m exhausted and uncomfortable. Days are long, but nights are longer. I’m battling insomnia which is affecting my immune system. I’m restless. And itchy! And the only cure is birth.
We have been expecting our rainbow to make her appearance any day for a week, but we continue to wait as patiently as possible. Planning for the big day hasn’t been easy but I managed to get through some pretty heavy obstacles over the last few weeks. The stress was weighing me down. I realize that this isn’t something I can fully plan for as it’s out of our control when she decides to arrive. She will come when she’s ready. I just hope that is soon!
Our lives are about to change forever as we welcome a baby created in pure love. I feel blessed this little soul chose us to love and protect her, and I couldn’t imagine experiencing this journey with anyone else. We are ready!
This popped up on my Facebook newsfeed today and blew me away. I posted this 2 years ago. I don’t remember writing this but I do remember posting this photo. It was a big deal for me to post this because I coped with colic in private. It was (at the time) my worst nightmare. 9+ hours of screaming every single day for 3.5 months was absolute torture, and a baby who only slept in my arms (a reality that never changed).
I still have a difficult time thinking about my early days with Bella because we didn’t have an easy start. I would give anything to have happy memories with my newborn baby girl. Instead I remember a time I don’t even want to think about. I wouldn’t wish colic upon my worst enemy. But instead of holding onto anger and resentment, 2 years ago I chose to let the world know how I felt in hopes that it would reach someone in need.
Bella was my rainbow long before she left this realm. Her life purpose was to teach me, and she continues to do so and will continue to for the rest of my life. I will hold onto every memory we have together, good and bad, and hold them all close to my heart. I am deeply grateful for every second I had with her.
To all the parents complaining about stress, life, and especially parenthood, please take a moment to count your blessings. You can sit there and complain about what life has thrown at you or you can stand up, hold your head high and say Thank You! Thank you for the lessons. Thank you for the opportunities. Thank you for the joyful memories. Those happy moments make all the difficult times worth it a million times over.
After a very rough week, I finally saw some light. This roller coaster is a pretty intense ride. I hate not knowing what to expect from one day to the next. This is the reality of grief. I am thankful that I finally got to feel the pain without losing control. You have to feel pain in order to heal, otherwise you simply repress it and that causes a lot of damage.
I finally made my trip to Sudbury. I had an incredible QHHT session and learned a lot about myself. QHHT is a form of hypnosis, past life regression. It was literally an “out of this world” experience. I definitely chose this life because I wanted to learn as much as possible. I am a starseed and need to go to Peru as it will help me heal. These are things I already knew, but confirmation is invaluable. I would eventually like to become a QHHT practitioner as I am a healer and always have been. Helping others heal is simply what I have always done.
Friday was a great day. I didn’t feel sad at all and didn’t have a worry in the world. It’s the best I’ve felt since Bella left. We came home yesterday and kept seeing rainbows. At first I thought I was hallucinating because the rainbow was so faint, the clouds weren’t dark and there was no rain. The rainbow then intensified! It was huge, very thick and vibrant! We passed it and then we saw another rainbow. When I got home, there was another, then the sky turned pink. It was beautiful! I have never seen as many rainbows as I have this summer. Thank you, Bella❤️
Now I lay in bed with Hudson and Buddy. I had a great time away with my girl brothers but I am thankful to be home with my boys. I’m definitely feeling the love this morning.
#StayStrong❤️ #Starseed⭐️ #Rainbow🌈
The brightest rainbow I have ever seen!
I looked out the window and saw the sun was shining on the trees across the lake while everything else was in darkness. Then a rainbow appeared. It was vibrant, brighter than any rainbow I have ever seen and seemed to sparkle. There was pink that appeared after the violet, a phenomenon I didn’t know existed. I held Hudson and we felt whole again; my family was united once more. Hello, Bella!!! XO