Yesterday marked 2 months since Bella’s transition. It feels like an eternity has passed since I last hugged my sweet angel, yet it flew by so fast. It’s probably normal to feel that way after something so traumatic, when so much happens in such a short period of time. 
It still mostly feels like a bad dream, but now I have moments of reality that seep through this haze. The veil is starting to lift ever so slowly and as much I want to pull it back down, I’m letting it do what it needs to. I need to feel in order to heal.
I still lack motivation for anything physical, including cleaning. My kitchen is a disaster thanks to a bug infestation in my pantry. Just what I needed because I am not dealing with enough… And my “to do” list keeps growing by the hour. At this rate, I’ll never catch up. On the other hand, at least I will always have a distraction when I need it. Maybe that’s why the bugs came. Maybe Bella brought them here to distract me. Maybe I should have a talk with her about proper ways to get my attention!
Bella was at her daycare the other day. One of her friends saw her and pointed to her. She was playing in the sandbox, beside another one of her friends. I’m sure she’s there every day but confirmation is always nice.
Part of my healing process is to go through all the photos of Bella’s life. I started yesterday by going through and sharing photos of her birth. That day was such a gift. I was on a mission to experience my vision of “a perfect birth” and I succeeded. It was beautiful. I apologize if some people are offended by some of the photos I posted. I feel that something this beautiful needs to be shared. It’s about Bella, remembering and celebrating her life. I plan to share every moment of her life in order to give her memories life. The more people who share in these memories, the more people she touches and the stronger her memory becomes.
If anyone has any photos of Bella, could you please email them to me? Every single photo becomes even more precious when you know there will never be another opportunity to take more. Thank you so much❤️and please share! altcarter@hotmail.com

#StayStrong❤️ #KeepMemoriesAlive